Show more

Is it ethical to use magic to help my toddler sleep through the night?

It was a pitiful 32 minute nap and now we are doing Big Cries sooooooo

Show thread

I successfully put the baby to sleep for the first time in 4 months

that kinda guy who says they’ll start at 8, but maybe get there at 7:30 and then actually shows up at 6:55.

the exact second I start doing something is the exact second my child wakes up from their nap

✔️ drink coffee
✔️ eat breakfast
✔️ feed baby
✔️ make to do list

Show thread

I filled my to do list with a bunch of things I already did so I could cross them off.

It’s 7:45pm. Both my child and husband are asleep. I could do anything.

Yeah sure my baby was walking at 10 months but what's really impressive is that they learned to blow raspberries while nursing and often stop to clap for themselves after doing a particularly wet one

It's wet. It's sloppy. It's often with an open mouth on my open mouth.

Show thread

I've really struggled with the fact that I can not talk to my child telepathically.

My sweet almost not a baby anymore looked up at me after I asked them a question and uttered the words every parent loves to hear...

“Uh DUH”

Yesterday I dumped an entire bucket of paint on myself.

Getting ready for my date with Big Wally's Plaster Magic and a battery powered caulk gun

The only thing good about a crying baby at 11pm, 3am, and 5am is that there is a good chance they will want to snuggle instead of pulling out my hair and inspecting my teeth.

Show more

cooler.mom is a Mastodon instance for moms!