Sydney (admom) @sydney@cooler.mom

@alex @platypus @alpine_thistle how low are you? Brown sugar would be better sub if you have it. Powdered sugar usually has corn starch in it so I think you’d run into some issues with the right thickening/sweetness balance if it was the majority.

@Louisa I’m compromising my need to make everything 10,000 times harder by using procion dyes instead of growing plants to turn to natural dyes, so a stamp would feel like really cheating 😂

Stiffer brushes would help a lot though.

Help I just offered to put on “construction music” and I have no idea what that even is

you can lead a toddler to a toilet, but you can't make them pee (or stop whining)

turns out painting small trucks on small underwear is actually incredibly time consuming

I am the person you call when you need an improvised guided meditation about excavators.

I mowed the lawn yesterday for the first time in my life and Alex described my technique as "swoopy" and I will be taking that as a compliment

@touk I will admit the desire to rearrange everything strikes often and usually at less than ideal moments, like 10 minutes into watching a movie.

@Pixley that is very sweet

Happy Father’s Day to the person who knows how to work our TV.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who occasionally will do a little dance like a crab.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who is wants to be stronger than my dad was for my mom.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who will always give you the entire tissue box even if you specifically ask for only one tissue.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who says yes to pretty much all of my ideas, unless they involve rearranging furniture.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who owns an illegal amount of Steely Dan shirts and hats.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who gets weird before you want them to.

Happy Father’s Day to the person who takes out our trash.

Happy Father’s Day to the person I’ve spent the most nights sleeping next to.

Can’t sleep? Try shredding cardboard while listening to This American Life in your underwear while using a Pilates reformer as a chair.

In Hanks world of only being exposed to children's animation through branded food package while grocery shopping, minions are owls, mickey is a dog, and spongebob is "that yellow thing with the eyes"