Pinned post
Pinned post

Attention young queers: if you don’t have a good relationship with your mom, or if you just want a new one for any reason, I will be your Mom.

Benefitsβ€”
β€’ I will never hassle you about your gender, sexuality, income, relationship status, or number of children.
β€’ Excellent listener.
β€’ You will be welcome to visit at any time, including holidays, but never required or pressured.
β€’ Automatic enrollment in the Queer Auntie Network.

Reply here or DM for more information πŸ¦’πŸ’•

Pinned post

Hello, fellow Cool Moms!

I’m Jessica, a mentally-ill disabled queer mom living in New Orleans (Louisiana, USA) with my wife and daughter πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆβšœοΈ

I’m sure I have interests but I can’t think of anything right now, check the replies πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

β€”πŸ¦’

parenting 

losing my fucking rn. this baby is already strong and coordinated enough to move the furniture around and climb up on damn near anything. nothing is fucking safe. i can barely leave the room long enough to use the toilet so trying to fix us lunch is completely out of the question. looks like you’re eating saltines today cuz that’s the only zero prep food in the house, kiddo.

saved the baby from electrocution last night but the outlet is fucked up and we lost that power strip. everything plugged into it was fine tho.

$20 trip to home depot got us a locking outlet cover and a good extension cord, so it shouldn’t happen again.

i was so scared and surprised and angry all at once, i haven’t shouted like that in uhh, ever. i was a little hoarse for a few hours lol.

baby spilled tea on the remote and it stopped working, but i entombed it in rice overnight and it’s fine now.

g-d bless affordable and convenient dessicants

rearranged the living room to make more space for the baby. so far, so good

alcohol 

starting the day off strong with pink Princess goldfish crackers and β€œmommy’s special grape juice” aka franzia πŸ₯€

if i find one more β€œclean” dish with a greasy outside/underside because the last person who β€œwashed” dishes in this house skipped that part,, i probably won’t do anything but i will *feel* like strangling someone and throwing things.

y’all wanna be treated like adults? maybe act like adults and quit half-assing every task you’re given (just an idea lol).

giving the baby food while she’s in her play pen has the same energy as that scene in jurassic park where they lower a cow into the raptor enclosure

> thinks about napping for one second
> baby: *screaming, slamming, throwing things*
> nvm

i am supposed to be studying and practicing for technical job interviews but baby has not been cooperating for the last several days please help πŸ™ƒ

@SapphicGiraffic made a huge mess, not sure if she actually ate any of it, results inconclusive πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Show thread

why is watching VHS rips of old Reading Rainbow episodes so fucking satisfying? πŸ“ΌπŸŒˆπŸ“š

I need recommendations for good children’s programming channels on YouTube or similar.

I already have access to lots of cartoons, but i want more videos of like, just regular people doing stuff, kids and adults, going about their day. Stuff like Blippi is okay too.

Any thoughts?

Show more

cooler.mom is a Mastodon instance for moms!